The impostor syndrome. Causes, identification and healing

What it is, causes, identification and healing

When I read for the first time of the compliance syndrome, I had the impression of reading the history of my life. When did you start manifesting? Acute, from the faculty, even if I had good results I didn’t feel enough, I could not be part of the good because I was not like them.

I remember that immediately after taking the license, with the media 9, a competition was organized to occupy a position in Deloitte, I did not have the courage to participate, nor did I think I could take one of the 4 titans in the Audit.

In the meantime, I advanced in important positions in the financial department, I tested my skills, I was appreciated, I made projects, I implemented complex systems and procedures, yet the syndrome remained there.

It took over 2 years of work with a coach and many hours dedicated to self -awareness to reduce the symptoms of the compliance syndrome.

Is there still there? YES. But now it is like a road partner who comes from time to time to attract my attention that I have to deepen a certain topic, not to hurry, not to be superficial.

As much as in the past? No, and it passes much faster.

The impostor syndrome. Causes, identification and healing

Let’s see what the impostor syndrome is.

The compliance syndrome is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their results.

I intend? People who have this syndrome, even if they are successful in what they do, feel that this success has been only luck and in reality they are settings. They live with constant fear of being discovered as false / useless.

The condition called «Impostor Syndrome» was discovered for the first time in 1978, by the psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne A. Ies. Initially they thought it was a form of specific anxiety for women, who attributed to the success of the career rather to external factors (luck, lack of supervisors), even if the tests proved to have succeeded.

In the mid-1980s, Clance conducted a study with Gail Matthews, professor of psychology at the Dominican University of California, and the data showed that the problem is widespread and not only affects women-70% of study participants (men or women) have heard at least once.

Personally I believe that we all have impostor syndrome in various contexts.

What determines the appearance of this syndrome?

The roots are planted during childhood, the events appear in different contexts, depending on the pressure perceived at the moment.

– Perfectionism: very high standards, when it could always be better and never enough. Any small mistake is now perceived as a serious failure.

– Appreciation only on the basis of the results: a family in which the emphasis is placed on the results, in which you are appreciated only if you have received 10 or if you were the best/better. Now no success is enough.

– Comparison with others: establish the value of the child only compared to others. What note did you take? But the colleague? And see if your colleague had a higher note. Now the comparison with others has become a model of thought.

-Permanent negative feedback: when it doesn’t matter what you did, you couldn’t thank your parents compared to teachers. Now this feedback is heard for fear of failing or not being able to satisfy the expectations of those around

The impostor syndrome keeps you in constant fear that you will be discovered, in a state of doubt about your abilities. There is also a clear connection between impostor and burnout syndrome. When you suffer from the impostor syndrome to work in excess and deliver more than it is necessary because, due to the fact that you feel lower, you will be afraid of not having discovered.

How do the symptoms of the impostor symptoms identify?

It is important to recognize the symptoms of the compliance syndrome to overcome:

• Car -excessive acctic: constantly criticizes yourself and not recognize your results.

• Fear of failure: you are constantly afraid that you will fail and that everyone will discover that you are not as competent as it seems.

• Subspectation of successes: think that your success is due only to luck or other external factors, not to your skills.

• Comparison with others: you constantly compare with others and you feel lower.

How healing from the imposter syndrome?

Personally I don’t think you have ever healed yourself, but you understand its mechanisms and you can get out of the state insufficient much faster.

I present below two healing methods, the best shot will be under the guidance of a coach.

• Journal of Achievements: I kept a diary in which I noticed the results and appreciation received. I noticed the feedback received from my superiors and I stayed there until I accepted that they are right.

• Open discussions: I also talked about my feelings with other people. I discovered that I’m not the only one to hear it.

• Automatic compassion: I voluntarily practiced the sweetness of myself. Accept that it is ok and normal to make mistakes. That a failure also brings one side of learning.

• Establish realistic goals: I have set more realistic goals, I reduced personal expectations from Wonder Woman (mother, wife, professional) to a normal woman with limited resources.

Through universal laws (John Demartini).

In the acceptance of universal laws, the compliance syndrome is a state of insufficiency generated by a conflict between two personalities within us:

The impostor syndrome is a feedback on health in thought, which comes to prevent us from wanting to promote only half a man.

Universal laws say that when you are willing to show you everything without clinging to your image of the prompt syndrome it will be relieved.

Our mind has two types of judgments:

When the mind clings only one side, it only wants positive admiration, alone and denies the other, we will build a mask / facade on who we are. Obviously we would just like that part of us is visible and we will dissolve on the side that opposes what we want to show.

We only want what confirms our positive perception and we will hide the part of us who makes us feel shameful. So we have the expectation of us to be only half a man because in our Seinea we will know that in reality we are whole, positive and negative.

Here are the three steps to dissolve the compliance syndrome:

• Step 1. Look for the exact moment in which you perceived yourself as an impostor.
  
  Where, when and in front of those who feel like an impostor?
  
  At that moment you didn’t want to see you?
  
  What do you want to hide about you?

• Step 2. Awareness that thing is even part of you. YES!! It’s part of you, it hurts but it’s true. Complete the image, brings the balance to mind.
  
  Where, when and who has seen that you are that? Start with the most recent and go in the past. Find 5-10 moments when you were as you want to hide.

• Step 3. When did you show that thing, how was it an advantage for you?
  How was it an advantage to see that thing about you?
  
  How have you helped you since then?
  
  How did you help others?
  Write at least 10 advantages for each moment.

None of the methods will work without your introspection work, without granting you time to get to know yourself and spend through the process.

Let’s make a balanced life !!